It's not about being perfect, it's about being a better you.

        A lot has been going on in our lives, finally unpacking the last few boxes from our most recent move in the end of May. Yes, it's been almost 3 months but hey, I think that's a major accomplishment now that I really think about it. We have had a whole lot going on: having finals for school, me filling out financial aid for next year, finishing unpacking, organizing paper work, getting house ready and filling out paper work for home study for us to adopt. Let's just say I have been more than a little overwhelmed with it all. This morning, well, let's just say that I learned that some times you just need a friend to help you walk through the simple things to jump back into the groove. That is just what I had today. Thanks to my friend, Carla.

           I have been looking for paper work to fill out paper work for school and been looking for weeks now and was about to my last wit; one of my best friends, Carla, came over and helped me go through a ton of stacks of paper work to find two pieces of paper. It was Ridiculous! I have been working on becoming more organized in the last few years and little by little I am getting there but, today, I decided this has to get done and fast or I am going to go insane! I remember sitting there this morning and thinking I could sit here all day - for the rest of my life and beat my self up that I could not find those 2 pieces of paper and that I have had a mess or I can thank the Lord and Carla for helping me find it without me going crazy and move on. After finding the paper, finishing the paper work, I finally realized that I need to get over myself. I need to stop beating my self up for all the mistakes I have ever made. I need to quit thinking of the negative I have done and stop thinking about all the negative consequences those bad decisions can bring, but, thank God for all the blessings I have, the loved ones He has sent me, the lessons I have learned from those mistakes, and for the mercy and grace He has given me.

          I think a lot of time people dwell on their past, rather than focus on the present and look forward to the future. I know I am guilty of that one all the time. I realize now, that yes, I had boxes that had not been unpacked, paper work thrown in boxes during move, and being behind in my tasks. I realize now that I am more organized than I have ever been and I am becoming more and more organized as time goes by. I realized today that I am too hard on my self. If my loved one was struggling and beating themselves up like I do, I would be telling them they are being ridiculous. I do not hold any one to the standard I expect of myself. Why do I expect myself to have it all together when I do not expect everyone else to? Now there is nothing wrong with high expectations or being very organized, but it is ridiculous to beat yourself up for your mistakes. Realize that you made a mistake, say your sorry, get off your duff, make a change and move forward. Some times you need to give yourself a kick in the pants, a pep-talk, a pat on the back, a high-five (haha! that one looks a little funny, but it's all good!).

         It's not about being perfect, it's about being a better you. There is only one perfect man, Jesus. He knows we are not perfect (no one is good, not even one - Romans 3:10-12) and yet He loves us anyways (Romans 5:8). I want to be a better me; I want to be like Him. Each day striving forward to learning to learn from our mistakes and move forward. Carla showed me this sign tonight and I love it and want one, "HUMAN KIND, BE BOTH".   I see this quote as meaning be real and be kind. A wise man once told me, there are 3 things that we need to love life, "Love God, Love what God loves, and Love yourself because God loves you". I was reminded by this today. God sees us as we are, and knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 139) and yet He loves me anyways (Jeremiah 31:3). I am special to Him (Psalm 17:8), He calls my name (Isaiah 43:1) and draws me close (James 4:8). He wants me to be real and He wants me to be kind. This totally reminds me of one of my favorite quotes,  that I want you to remember too,

                        “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
                      ― Ailileen Clark (Kathryn Stockett, The Help).

          Remember that I love you and so does God!! Big hugs to you from me. XOXOXO