I am not giving up the fight, am I just choosing on what to fight over.

           I love love love technology and so grateful to be in this day and age though I am no computer whiz; I do really appreciate the ability to type faster than I can write as well as type into the Google bar and hit search on anything I would like to learn about. I absolutely love that I can keep in contact with loved ones within an instant with the strike of a few keys. I have also been a part of social media and I have loved it especially facebook, some times even too much! lol!
 
           Some people say they don't understand why I closed my account. Though I don't expect them to understand but just to respect my choice. Some of you may know I am going through some trying times and I feel that I need a break. So I took a few days off and when I came back it was soon back to the negativity and frustration. I know that me and many of my loved ones do not see eye to eye on many things, which I completely understand and accept. Though I think that some times it is easier to heal with not so much input from others. Please do not think I do not love ya or care since I closed my facebook account. Please know that I appreciate your calls, your messages, and your concern. I still very much would love to hear from you and keep in contact so, please stop by, call, write, text, and email. If you have a blog please send me a link for I would love to see it. I just need to focus on other things than facebook right now and need to press forward. One of my favorite quotes is by Helen Keller, who is a major over comer.

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."
Helen Keller (June, 1880 - June, 1968)

            I am not giving up, I am just letting go. I am not giving up the fight, am I just choosing on what to fight over. I am focusing on my Rock, Jesus, my Bebe and me.

 "Then Jesus said, 

"Come to me, 

all of you who are weary 

and carry heavy burdens, 

and I will give you rest." 

- Matthew 11:28

           Just trusting in Him and His word, for He is all I have. When you realize He is all you have you come to realize that He is all you need. He will carry you when you need it, He will give you strength when ask, He will overflow your cup with peace that goes beyond understanding. God's peace to you and yours. Love ya!

Loss is Loss.

Loss is loss. No matter how far along you were, whether you held your baby, whether you saw your child in an ultrasound, heard the heart beat, got a positive test or even if you didn’t even know you even pregnant. No loss is greater than another. Many people have said to me, “Well at least you didn’t carry to full-term then lose the baby.” Or “At least you didn’t hold it and have to give to back”; like it was less of a baby - your child. Oh what I would of gave to hold my children, to see their faces, say hello before saying goodbye. Even though I never knew I was pregnant until I miscarried I grieve each and every one of my children. I am a mother even though my children aren’t here with me. A child doesn’t become a child at birth. A child becomes a child at conception. I am proud to say I am a mother of five children who all with God. No I never saw one of my children, I never saw one positive test, never an ultrasound, or heard a heart beat. I knew loss even before I even knew you were there. But I am a mother even though I had none of that because you were here even though I never knew you.

I am here not to say look at me look at me. I am here to say there is healing. There is hope, there is peace. And that peace comes from Jesus. That peace comes from giving my burdens to Him. That peace comes from laying down my dreams at His feet and trusting in Him.

I use to think if I give up my control to Him I will be out of control. That was so very wrong. When I gave up control to Him, I feel more in control than I have ever been. Does everything go my way? No. Does all the hurt and pain go away? No. But I am no longer standing alone. He is standing with me for every moment and every hurt, crying with me. Holding my tears in a bottle. Thank you Jesus for what you have done. I couldn’t do it without You. Remember you don’t have to either.