Pray without ceasing! (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
I read Sarah's Laughter daily devotional on praying. God sometimes I feel that I just want you to tell me children or no children so I can get on with my life. But, tonight I feel that You are calling me to keep praying. Don't give up. Relie on You.
Hannah kept praying and asking for You to give them a child. So I am going to continue to ask. I know that You don't get sick of my requests. Not saying You will give me what I want, a house full of children but, I know that You care for me and my dreams and wants are important to You too. I know that You can open my womb. I pray that You will. Thank you for all that You do.
Showing posts with label His plan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label His plan. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I will still praise You, LORD!
It was negative test, again. Yes, I am bummed. But, I'm doing good. I am good with Your plan LORD. I am ready to follow. What ever it may be. Let me know what to do and where to go.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Do I want God more than anything?
Do I want God more than anything? Do I want God more than relationship with my family and friends? Do I want God more than to be liked? Do I want God more than my dreams? Do I want God more than having children? This has been the question in the last couple of weeks. I have said "yes", "I think so", "mmmm... that's a hard one", "I would love you more if You gave me children".
Today I was craving the cookies my mother-in-law made. Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, my favorite. (Well almost love anything that is chocolate,except chocolate bugs). But after eating two small cookies (Yes, they were small. I am not lieing); I craved pickles. I ate three small dill pickles. My mother-in-law laughed at me. I said they sound good dipped in peanut butter and chocolate. She said, mmmm... sounds like you're pregnant. (hopeful and wishful almost as much as I am). I was nauseaded this morning and yesterday. Is my body sick, just wishing it was pregnant, or could it really be after so many years of waiting, wishing, and praying. I began to count the days of my cycle. Last cycle was really short and light. No, it's been over 6 1/2 years since I lost our last baby and haven't been pregnant since. I began to think now don't get your hopes all up to see them crash. But with that said, "My God is Awesome. If He wants us to have a baby, He'll make it happen. And if He doesn't are you going to love Him any less?" I can honestly say no, I wouldn't. My God is God no matter if I never have children. My God is a good God no matter if we never have a child in our home. He is the reason I am alive today and He is the reason I want to live for Him. A child or no child. Yes, my heart aches for a house full of children. But, my heart aches for GOD to fill and overflow my heart more. I don't want anything without His blessing. If a bare womb and a bare home is His plan for me I will follow Him. LORD, You are my LORD and Savior. I need no other except you. I did get a pregnancy test tonight and I am going to go take it since everyone is asleep. If it is positive I will SCREAM praises to you and if it is negative I will praise you anyways. I love you, LORD!
Today I was craving the cookies my mother-in-law made. Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, my favorite. (Well almost love anything that is chocolate,except chocolate bugs). But after eating two small cookies (Yes, they were small. I am not lieing); I craved pickles. I ate three small dill pickles. My mother-in-law laughed at me. I said they sound good dipped in peanut butter and chocolate. She said, mmmm... sounds like you're pregnant. (hopeful and wishful almost as much as I am). I was nauseaded this morning and yesterday. Is my body sick, just wishing it was pregnant, or could it really be after so many years of waiting, wishing, and praying. I began to count the days of my cycle. Last cycle was really short and light. No, it's been over 6 1/2 years since I lost our last baby and haven't been pregnant since. I began to think now don't get your hopes all up to see them crash. But with that said, "My God is Awesome. If He wants us to have a baby, He'll make it happen. And if He doesn't are you going to love Him any less?" I can honestly say no, I wouldn't. My God is God no matter if I never have children. My God is a good God no matter if we never have a child in our home. He is the reason I am alive today and He is the reason I want to live for Him. A child or no child. Yes, my heart aches for a house full of children. But, my heart aches for GOD to fill and overflow my heart more. I don't want anything without His blessing. If a bare womb and a bare home is His plan for me I will follow Him. LORD, You are my LORD and Savior. I need no other except you. I did get a pregnancy test tonight and I am going to go take it since everyone is asleep. If it is positive I will SCREAM praises to you and if it is negative I will praise you anyways. I love you, LORD!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)