i will trust in YOU!!

i didn't not capitalize the "i" for a reason today. To help me remember how small i am. The world is always trying to get us to think that we are BIG; ourselves as inviduals to think we are bigger than we truly are. i remember as a teenager wanting everyone to think i was beautiful. The magazines and media show women and girls that happiness comes in society acceptance. Not that it isn't nice when soome one says we are beautiful but, it became an obession. i began to think that i had to have this and have that to be beautiful, to be someone special. i thought that i had to be a certain size, certain weight, certain clothes... It began to be an overwhelming obession. i soon started to have a eating disorder. Thinking i had control over my wieght but, truly the obession had control over me. i thought i had to be thin to be BIG in others eyes.

But now I see that this issue of the BIG "I" involves every issue of my life. i think i can handle it all. i don't want anyone else help. i need want to be the one that is in control. Though the Lord is been working and come a long way with me. i see in the last few months that God is working on me to see the HE is the BIG ONE not me. That HE can handle it all if "i" let HIM. HE wants to help me; will i ask for HIS help? HE is the one that is control, we i give it all to HIM? So, last night the LORD was working on me telling me HIS had plans for me. Will i listen, obey and follow? I wrestle with trust. Wondering if HE can do anything with my circumstances. When someone tells me there problems some are small others are manger BIG. i tell them they can trust in HIM. But, do I trust Him?

Now here is the question for us: do we see us as a BIG "I" or a little "i". Because if we see ourselves as a BIG "I" then we can not prosper. We get overwhelmed with our BIG ego. He wants us to be humbly bow and worship HIM. i see now that GOD is trying to show me HE is the BIG one and am small. little. tiny. And yet though i am so tiny God loves me not because who i am or what i've done but, because HE me. Not for who i am or what i've done but, for who HE is and what HE has done. Because He is so mighty so great so amazing i will bow down, worship Him and trust in His plan for me. Whether it be here or where ever you've put me. Whether we have children or not. Whether my dreams and plans ever come true. i will trust in YOU!!!!

- Psalm 9:10 "And they that know YOUR name will put their trust in you: for YOU, LORD, have not forsaken them that seek YOU."