My favorite thought


Rejoice in His name and not in your circumstances.


Sunday, December 27, 2015

Shalom Toda Raba PART IIII

This day was a very long and busy day though it changed my life. We picked up the doctors took them to the Tel Aviv hospital for dedication ceremony for the new children's cardio wing. There was a high school choir singing in mostly Hebrew, although we could not understand the words the beautiful melody and their voices sang out. We got to have lunch with Shevet's head nurse and what a blessing that was to learn more about Shevet and Israel. The food was delicious and nothing like hospital cafeteria food here in the states. A full homemade from scratch 5 course meal with local fresh fruit, vegetables, and chicken or fish. We got to go see the children's wing that housed Shevet's children who were recuperating from or preparing for heart surgery. 


One of the little boys I saw and got to see was Baran  (http://www.shevet.org/children/baran). Oh this sweet little one is
such a warrior. He has had such a hard journey but 

oh what a fighter! We took some toys to give to the children so I brought him a bright red matchbox car. I rolled it around his bed and he followed it and me with his eyes. His mama was so sweet, spoke very good English (she says she is "learning"), and has been by his side 24-7 through July to November. She was very appreciative for our visit and our prayers. I will be forever touched by this little one and forever remember his beautiful eyes and the impact that he had on me. Every time I think of him I pray for him and his family. 

                         

                          “My son pay attention to what I say;
                                   listen closely to my words.
                             Do not let them out of your sight,
                                keep them within your heart;
                        for they are life to those who find them
                            and health to a man’s whole body."
                                                                          - Proverbs 4:20-22 


                                         I will speak more about Baran more to come.... :)
 
We got to see a documentary film on the children's cardio department which was completely heart moving. I cried seeing all the children in need and those that they were helping not only in Israel but also those from surrounding countries and especially in Africa. Israel has the top cardio unit in the world. They are very impressive and resourceful with what they have. It truly made a impression on me and gave me motivation and inspiration that I will speak about later.


              After a day at Shevet and the hospital we went out for kosher burgers. Yum Yum! We

became great 
fans of the BURGERSBAR. You got to try them!



Yum Yum!!























            We visited the Mount of Olives, saw the Eastern Gate aka Golden Gate, it was 

beautiful and fascinating to learn more about the history and culture of the physical

sites. 
Standing looking out over the Eastern Gate made me think of so many

things...
  Amazing how God has and will fulfill scripture. Just as in Bible (especially in the

book of Isaiah which was written over 700
 years before the birth of

Jesus) predicted his birth, death, and second coming.



Let's start at the beginning...

His place of birth...


"But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting."
 -Micah 5:2 written: 710 BC (OT- Before Christ)

"After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod..." - Matthew 2:1 (NT)




 
Christmas is 
the celebration of
the Christ child 
who was born to 
live and die for us. 





             God knew that He needed to come and save us; so He is the true hero. He came himself. The virgin birth is spoken of over 700 years BC (Before Christ) and His name is told to us to tell us exactly who He is. 
 

The virgin birth, and His name...
Isaiah 7:14 written: 758 BC (
Before Christ)"Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel."  Word "Immanuel" means: God with us.
Isaiah 8:8 written: 758 BC (Before Christ)

"
And he shall pass through Judah; he shall overflow and go over, he shall reach even to the neck; and the stretching out of his wings shall fill the breadth of thy land, O Immanuel."



"Now the birth of 
Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit." - Matthew 1:18

"He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." -Isaiah 53 3-6



      "Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins;
  for if you do not believe that I Am, you will die in your sins."                                                                                        - 
John 8:24 


The second coming...
God gave Ezekiel a supernatural vision of this gate.
 43:1 “Afterward he brought me to the gate, the gate that faces toward the east. And behold, the glory of the God of Israel came from the way of the east“.
 43:4; “And the glory of the Lord came into the temple by the way of the gate which faces toward the east.
"Then he brought me back the way of the gate of the outward sanctuary which looketh toward the east; and it was shut.
Then said the Lord unto me; This gate shall be shut, it shall not be opened, and no man shall enter in by it; because the Lord, the God of Israel, hath entered in by it, therefore it shall be shut.
It is for the prince; the prince, he shall sit in it to eat bread before the Lord; he shall enter by the way of the porch of that gate, and shall go out by the way of the same. Ezekiel 44:1-3

 
You also must be

 ready, because the



 Son of Man will come

 at an hour when you 

do not expect him." 

-Luke 12:40



Going to the Holy Land was breathe taking! Brought the Bible to Life in a different way! Reading and seeing pictures of the stories has changed my life completely. It is hard for me to explain how seeing these places has made the stories not come alive but made them become deeper in heart and soul. For when I turned my life over to God in 2003 the stories became very alive to me, for I was lost and then I was found. It is an experience that is so difficult to explain. It was amazing to see how even unbelievers even believe the prophesies of the Bible.

Learning about the Biblical sites with history and how others see the sites, history and prophesies is so interesting. The Muslims in the year 810 built a wall and placed a grave yard in front because they believe a prophet (who they think Jesus is only a prophet and not the Messiah) cannot walk through a wall and through the graveyard. Their belief would not be able to go through the stone gate but also not be able to walk through the graveyard. Interesting how that they are trying everything to stop the prophesy of the second coming of of the Messiah who they believe is only a prophet. 

This really got me to thinking that our faith should be strong - stronger than the unbeliever that tries to stop the prophesies. Nothing can stop the Almighty! No wall, no graveyard. He is the Almighty who turned water into wine, healed the lame and the sick, and rose the dead, as well as Himself. No wall, no graveyard is going to stop Almighty God. God is always faithful to His word. He has and will always keep His promises. Not only can we believe that for the prophesies of the Old and New Testaments but also we can believe His promises for us, His bride, His people.
So reminds me of one of my favorite verses... 






























He has and will fulfill very prophesy and promise.
My hearts bursts and melts at the same time every time I read this.  


                    Toda Raba Shalom!
                                                          More to come... stay tuned...

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Shalom Toda Raba Part III


A little back track:
Me and my family had a conversation about bucket lists in June. When I was asked whats on my bucket list, I stated that, "I have always wanted to visit the Holy Land, it has truly been the only thing on my bucket list." Who would of thought God would answer that prayer so quickly? Who would of thought not even a couple of weeks later, our church announced a mission trip to Israel? Not I. 




   I questioned, "Is this an answer to my prayers?" I prayed, "Lord, if this is. You not only have to convince Aaron to let me go but, tell him to come too. I know that is a VERY tall order to fill. But if you want me to go you have to bring him on board too. Praying for Your will not mine." That afternoon, Aaron called me before he was suppose to go to work for the night.

Aaron: How was church? 
Me: You won't believe what they announced at church today!
Aaron: What? 

Me: They announced a Israel Mission Trip.
Aaron: Awesome! Sign us up!

I was thrown in amazement! What?! No talking him into it.

Me: Really?!! It's in October. ???
Aaron: oh, ok. I will ask for the time off.

What? No, debating me about time off or money. 



God, You really answer prayers! 


         The third day we were asked to go to the Gaza strip, we were forewarned that their are sometimes some rockets in that area. Many people told us that we were crazy to go to Israel at this time. This doesn't matter for we believe that we are to go when God calls, that He will take us through or take us home. It's a win - win
situation. That goes for when we are in Israel, in our home country, home state, and home town. He is the one who is in charge.




"We believe that we are to go when God calls, that
He will take us through or
take us home.
It's a win- win situation."






           We got to pick up and meet two Gaza doctors that see Shevet's kids and recommends them to be a part of the program. They were very appreciative and told us how they have known the founder since the beginning of Shevet Achim ( http://www.shevet.org/our-community/about/history ). I love seeing Muslims, Jews, Christians loving on children and helping each other serve others. 



     
 
I love taking pictures of Doaa. We spent time with Doaa, the mothers, and some volunteers. The most of the mothers do not like their picture taken so, out of respect I did not take any pictures of the mothers that did not want their picture taken. 


       

      David playing with Doaa. She loved the all the male volunteers. She just loved David as you can tell by her smile. :D
( http://www.shevet.org/children/doaa-0 )




   

      Rebecca is a volunteer knows seven languages. She is so good with the mothers and the children. Shevet has such talented, dedicated, and committed staff. 


         
         The next day we ate lunch with the Shevet family & the mothers and what another delicious meal with everyone. Afterwards Aaron and I cleaned up after lunch and cleaned the kitchen. We finished dishes and I began to sweep the floor; Aaron took the stove grates off and began to scrap off the burned on grease over time with a butter knife. The mothers came in, then went and got the other mothers to come see him scrap off the grates. They could not believe that he was not just in the kitchen cleaning but scrapping the  grates. Our language barrier could not hide that. It made me laugh and smile! :D I was so grateful to my
husband that he is not afraid to get in the kitchen to cook and clean. He has such a servant's heart. 

         
     
Praying for God to show me what He wanted me to do while I was there. What did He want me to see that I normally wouldn't see. Open my heart and eyes to the way You see things.

"I pray that
the eyes of your heart
may be enlightened in order
that you may know the hope
to which He has called you,
the riches of His glorious inheritance
in His holy people,"

 - Ephesians 1:18


One of my favorite songs:                             
                                          


                    Toda Raba Shalom!
                                                          More to come... stay tuned...

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Shalom! Toda Raba! PART II

                             My first day there I was worn out but so happy to be there. We got there the day that the festival was over so many people still continuing to celebrate and party so, we did not get a lot of sleep to all the loud music, shouting, as well as a few sounds of guns being shot off then girls screaming out side my window at 2:30 am. I think that it just scared them and it wasn't close but still terrifying to wake up to. I don't sleep well without Aaron as it is let alone a new place then a whole new country hearing loud guns. So I just for the opened & read my Bible and devotions and prayed, then got up and got ready day. For me this was blessed time for me and God to really focus on what He was doing in me and how He was going to change my life through this trip. 


"Ready for Life Changing experiences!! This trip is going to be the start of a new beginning!"
 - (journal clip)



"So excited! Lord, change my heart to be more & more like Yours! Make me know Your voice! Help me to follow You & not lean on my understanding." 
- (journal clip)

      We had dinner with the volunteers of Shevet (http://www.shevet.org/) and we played with lil' Doaa (http://shevet.org/children/doaa-0). Oh how this lil' child brought smiles to all of our faces. Sometimes I would forget that this smiley lil' one was very sick with a hole in her heart. Every time I saw she brightened my day & I pray for her each time I think of her. 

       The food was absolutely delicious! I love Middle Eastern food! Eating outside was wonderful, the weather was not that chilly and NO nats! Always a plus! Wonderful food & lovely company!







That night Aaron flew in so I stayed up and went with them to pick him up. I was up for almost 24 hours before my head hit the pillow. Oh, how I slept like a baby with my Bebe next to me.

Our hostel (hotel) is right in the middle of Jerusalem on Jaffa St. Every patriotic to their country! I love it! Israeli people are so kind and appreciative of our support to their country. 


Jaffa Street was Happenin'!! Our room was on top of the hostel and they had a few sitting areas up there. We could look over and see what was going on in the street. We are people watchers so we enjoyed watching people as we sat on the park bench & from above.  Here the commuter train, people busy going from work to their jobs, and people singing, playing music, and dancing in the street. The Israeli people are so talented! Sometimes they would sing in Hebrew and other songs in English. It was beautiful no matter if I could understand it or not. We really enjoyed Jaffa Street & Zion's Square. 
 Zion Square was full almost every night. I was so amazed how many people would come out and sing together every night (except Shabbat = Sabbath). Even when terrorists are attacking them every day even in the heart of their city, they still continue to sing & dance. I am amazed at their perseverance & dedication to their country and their way of life.

We met all kinds of Israelis: religious Jews, secular Jews, Christians, Muslims, and those we spoke with love Israel and the Israeli people, calling this their home. Defiantly not what we here in the media in the west.
Aaron said he was so amazed how many people came up to him & talked to him. He said with a smile, " They think I am their people." lol! He did fit in with his long hair and beard. :) 

                On the first morning before going to work with Shevet Achim we went to the Garden Tomb for tour and devotion. This is one of my favorite places. What a blessing it was to do this at the beginning of our trip. It really put things into perspective.
               Our tour guide was a young man from Poland, who was there because his home land was desolate from war and he spent 3 months in Israel as a volunteer at the garden.You could see the light of God in his face and his words. He was great on historical information as well as the Bible. 


         
       He showed us skull mountain, "Golgotha", which is spoken of in the book of Matthew, "and when they come to a place called Golgatha, the Place of the Skull".
        There was a wall with Arabic writing above it. I asked and a gentleman answered me saying there is a Masque  right there and the Muslims built a wall and the writing says, "There is no god but Allah."

         I found this very interesting. I would like to speak to them and ask them why they chose that phrase and that location. I really like to hear others people's beliefs and opinions even when they differ greatly against mine. 


Jesus has already answered this in one of my favorite verses:


"Jesus answered,
"I am the way
and the truth
and the life.
No one comes to the Father
except through me.""


- John 14:6

   
      

This is the cistern of the garden which is over 2,000 years old and holds over and holds over 200,000 gallons of water. Which would be more than enough to water the garden in this desert. 





                          

One of my favorite stories about Jesus was John  4 where He met the Samaritan woman at the well. Where he strikes up a conversation with asking for a drink of water and tells her that He is the  everlasting water & if she had Him she would never thirst again. She asked how was that possible? When we accept Him as LORD and Savior then He will satisfy our needs and fill us with Him, His Spirit.


The Garden tomb was an amazing place but, the most amazing feeling is that I know - PERSONALLY know this JESUS - The True and Living GOD. 


                             
                                    For HE is NOT there!
                              For HE is HERE with me! :) 


                         "Remain in me, and I will remain in you." - John 15:4


Toda Raba, Shalom.
                                                         More to come... stay tuned..

Friday, November 20, 2015

Shalom!! Toda Raba! Part I


               Hebrew lesson: Shalom means Peace. Toda Raba means Thank you very much.

               I know that it has almost been a month since we've been home from Israel. It felt like a whirl-wind to get there and busy busy while we were there and when we came home we hit the floor running back to work. We thank you so for your support, encouragement, and patience with me on getting this down.

              God answered prayers from the beginning to the end and then some. I cannot go into every thing so I will be sharing only certain stories and experiences that I feel that God tells me to share.

               God was amazing on how everything came to pass, from invitation to go, us saying yes, raising money to go, as well as getting our jobs to comply for time off. It was perfect timing and perfect plan. My last day of school was the day I flew out and Aaron finally found someone to cover for him for a few extra days. Getting finals and work done so we could go was amazing! God had His hand all over it.

                I flew with our friends Kim and Leo from Atlanta to Paris to Tel Aviv Israel. It was a LONG trip but very nice. Aaron flew my first night in Israel. My first day we woke up at 7 am, we walked to Shevet Achim (http://www.shevet.org/), which is a medical ministry for children who are in need for heart surgery, most of the children are from Gaza, Jordan, Iraq, and Iran. We first had a tour of the Shevet home, meeting volunteers, & staff. We had morning devotion with scripture reading, singing worship songs & hymns and praying in thanksgiving & asking for guidance. I fully enjoyed this time with meeting our new brothers & sisters in Christ.

               The Shevet staff and volunteers were dedicated and amazing people from all over the world: Florida, Colorado, New York, England, China, Singapore, Australia... I am completely amazed by  these people who love as Christ loves. As we sang and prayed that morning, I think I got a small glimpse of heaven, people from around the globe singing praises to Jesus.

             This is the new door and inside of the courtyard, absolutely beautiful! They have made great changes to this place!

              After devotion I cleaned all the
bathrooms in the house, during the cleaning I sang as I cleaned and praised God for bringing me to the land where He lived, walked, taught,
and loved. Many may think that cleaning the johns would be a bummer thing but I find it soothing. I cleaned houses for a living for over 8 years and it is such a sense of accomplishment when something is cleaned and smells nice. Two, I appreciate a clean home, especially a bathroom, and bathrooms need to be prayed over too. Everyone uses the facilities and even God can meet them on the white porcelain throne and pipes need prayer too especially in a house that is old. So know that no job is too small for God to bless and He cares for the small things.

           

            For lunch the Mothers, that come to stay to get help for their children, cooked lunch every day for 35-40 people, except their Holy day Friday so, we had the most delicious Kurdish food. Absolutely delicious!! The first time I have ever had Kurdish food and I could eat it every day! They have a long family style table that sits 30-40 people. Here we sat with people from all around the world, Christians and Muslims together, filling our bellies with the most delicious food talking and smiling together. What a blessed day it was!

            After lunch we did some more cleaning and then welcomed two new mothers and their. children into the Shevet home. I did not know how they would receive us, one we look completely different than them, speak a completely different language... yet gratitude seems to come only in one language: SMILES, HUGS, and KISSES. We stood in the small court yard to say hello and welcome them and they came up to us with big hugs and kisses on each cheek. Oh what joy it was to be a part of this! We met sweet little Doaa (http://shevet.org/children/doaa-0) and Stafro (http://shevet.org/children/stafro). Oh what a joy they are! What a Blessed Day!!


 

                                            Doaa                                                Stafro



"
Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."
- 1 Corinthians 12:27
   

       
Nothing better than being the hands and feet of Christ! What a Blessing!!

                         Toda Raba, Shalom.
                                                         More to come... stay tuned...

Saturday, September 5, 2015

To get a face lift on life we must first have a character peel.

                           What you do in adversity really is a character peel. Peeling back the layers of yourself to your true self through adversity, it will show your true colors. It will you that you are bitter or make you better, fake or real; It will show yourself and others what you truly believe and where you truly stand. You truly learn if you believe what you say you believe, who your support is and who really cares. It may not feel like a blessing in the midst of the pain, but truly it is. So know when your skin feels like it's being peeled back that it is all good, your just getting a face lift.



“What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.” — Ellen Glasgow

                         
  So know that when you have a problem and face adversity that this problem/adversity is not a hole but a challenge to take on, to overcome, to achieve who you want to be. It is coming very clear to me, my lessons are not just for me, but for others to learn through me. Just as your lessons in life are not just for you but for others to learn through you. Let's learn from each others mistakes, challenges, problems, trials, adversity... let's over come together. I tell the youth I work with, "Learn from my and others mistakes. Yes, you will make your own but learn from others so you will make less mistakes. Less mistakes means more success and less pain. Though the pain we do endure is not for nothing, it's the peeling away of the unneeded and renewing of who we need to be. 





                                                           "So we do not lose heart. 

Though our outer self is wasting away,
our inner self is being renewed day by day.
 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an
eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
as we look not to the things that are seen
but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient,
but the things that are unseen are eternal." 
-  2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Oh, what a beautiful promise! "Our outer self is wasting away though our inner self is being renewed day by day"! I do not want this wretched flesh any more; I want to be made ANEW!! Thank You, Lord!



References:

http://quoteaddicts.com/133706 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Every good and perfect gift...

                  I found out in 2011 that I was allergic to dogs because my allergies got so bad that my eyes would bulge out and swell up like balls of jelly. Talk about attractive! I was so sad because I had two wonderful dogs that we raised from puppies for 8 1/2 years. It broke my heart when my husband came home and saw my eyes bulging out and one swollen shut. I did not want to give my babies away. He finally said it was time. God answered our prayers and we found great homes for both dogs. Peaches went to a family friend and we put Buddy on a Rottweiler rescue website and found the perfect family for him. He now lives on a farm and goes swimming almost everyday. I feel like a birth mom that gets to go get visit and they send me pictures and videos of my babies enjoying their new family and home. I could not be more happy to get those pictures and videos of my babies looking happy and well.

Peaches
Buddy
               I am so completely happy for my babies, I miss them and miss having furry friends greet me every time I come home in the past 4 years. I learned that I could probably do well with a hypoallergenic dog. My parents had a poodle, Snuggles, and I never had any allergy problems with her. So I decided I would look for me a hypoallergenic breed, so I decided that I would start researching. I found one! I went to visit the breeder and her sweet dog. I asked an odd request that probably no one has asked before. I asked if I could hold Isabella and rub my face all over her fur. I knew that I would know in 15-20 minutes if she would bother my eyes or not. So excitedly when 20 to 30 mins. later I had no reaction at all. So for Christmas last year I got a puppy! She was not ready to come home until the end of  January but I was so excited!!! I went over name after name. My mother wanted me to name her Fifi,  No way. Others said Sophia, Nah. or Isabella... No. That is her mama's name. Finally decided that I would name her Belle. I am a huge Beauty and Beast fan and I knew it had to be Belle. And so Belle it is. 
Belle only a few weeks old and her head is just as big as her body. So cute!!! 
Christmas Day visit with Belle and h sister. Looks like mini rotties! So cute!! 
                   So I waited patiently until the end of January when I got to pick my Belle up and bring her home. She had grown so much since I had last seen her yet she was still so tiny. She weighed 1.6 lbs. and was a little longer than the size of my hand. I was so excited! Totally fell in love very quickly! 


                She now weighs almost 4lbs. and is such a fast little one and is so much fun! I don't know what I ever did without her. She is such a joy in our lives. So love this furbaby! 


Our sweet Belle!



Belle on our camping trip to Idaho.



Really? Mom, Really? Another picture.


Us playing peekaboo!


taking a cat nap


Can you tell we are in love with her!?! LOL!!

                We had such a good time! I cannot wait to go camping again. So excited about making new memories on our road trips and adventures.

                Many of my loved ones have asked me about Belle and what our experience has been. She is so much fun and I will defiantly be posting later more about our adventures.

               It's amazing to me that little things like this little dog can totally change my life in great big amazing ways! Makes me think of James 1:17,
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...". 



              So blessed to have this little dog! Thank you Lord for sending me this sweet furbaby! 

Friday, January 16, 2015

I want to celebrate with you but please be sensitive.

                         I read a blog today (http://blitheblog.com/i-could-have-a-baby-but-she-could-not/) and had my own comments about it.  Now, please readers, try and not take my words as harsh, and I try to do the same with yours. I did feel it painted many women who have lost babies or have had infertility issues as being cold-hearted and lugubrious towards those who have full wombs, and arms of beautiful cooing babies that look at their mama and papas with endearment that cannot be faked or made. I love the seeing pregnant women, women and families with lots of children, hearing children laughing and yes even crying. My heart wants to join in with the laughs, smiles and comfort the crying wee ones. I am excited when more babies are joining our world; I just wish I was apart of that group of joining too. I want to celebrate with you but please be sensitive.

                         Though, yes, there are times where it is hard for me. It is mostly hard for me to see mother's who say they don't want to be pregnant with the morning sickness, that they hate getting fat with all the baby fat during pregnancy, complain about being up all night with a baby/children, or how oh you don't want one of these whiny crying things... Yes, I would take your morning sickness any day, the medication the doctor's prescribe make me nauseated any way. Oh yes, I will take that baby fat any day, the medication makes me gain weight anyway. So please be sensitive to me when you say such things, because I have to deal with many of those things and yet you have your tummy full of a growing baby or your arms are full of a baby to hold. When mine have never made it pass 3 months along. So yes I am excited for you though please think of me and my journey and be sensitive with the words you use. I would love to be up all night with babies, having a messy house cause children mess it up as soon as you clean it, I would take it ALL, my friend.

                        It hurts most when people say things and ask things without thinking. I probably have heard them all! Trust me it's been 15 years... Most of the time I refrain myself but, please forgive if you are appalled at my replies which many times I do not say.

- So when y'all gonna get busy and have some babies?! *Trust me, we are busy! Would you like to see our calendar? We chart, you know. :)

- So do you know what causes those baby bumps? *Yep, we have lost 7 my dear.

- Do you not like sex? *Seriously, lack of baby doesn't mean lack of lovin', honey.

- I want a grandbaby/nephew/niece...? *I want to give you one. I wish it was as easy as saying I want one then we would already have one. Did you think of that?

- You're getting older honey? Time clock is tickin'. *(my most shock face I can put on) Really?!! O MyGosh!!! What Happened?!!! I never even though of that!!!

- Did you try this position? Did you try that? *Seriously?!! (I even get this from men, yeah, can you say AWKWARD!! My husband almost decked a guy because of this one).

- Have you seen a specialist? What did they say was wrong with you? or What's wrong with you? *I understand that people are curious, though if it was something I was doing wrong trust me I would of fixed it long ago. Most of the time it's no one's fault that they cannot have a baby.

- Oh you can just adopt. *Seriously, oh if it was as easy as going down to the store and buying a gallon of milk.

- Oh how many children do you have? *This one is difficult for me. I understand that in our society that this is a common question to get to know people and find common ground. Though, it's hard for someone who has lost a baby(s) or suffers from infertility. How do you answer? If I answer No, I usually get one or two answers.
            - Why not? *Would you like all my medical records so you can read them for yourself?
            - Don't you like children? *Oh, yes, I do. Just because you don't have any doesn't mean you                    don't want any.
      If I say I do, we have had multiple losses.
            -Oh, how many? What happened? How far along were you each time? *I don't know. Would                 you like to see my medical records and see where the doctor says no reason for miscarriage.

- You must of sinned to cause God to take your children/or not give you any? *Really? I never seen that in scripture. He felt differently than that with Sarah, Hannah, Rebekah, Elizabeth, Job...

- You need to not sweep under your bed, then you'll get pregnant. *seriously?!

- You need to just forget about it and then you'll get pregnant. *ummm, why don't you try that.

- Gain weight and then you'll get pregnant. *It's not always about weight, honey.

- Don't eat after 4 pm.

- Are you pregnant yet? *You would know if I was.

-  Are you fat yet? *No, this isn't a nice way of asking if someone is pregnant.

- Light a candle every night.

- Lose weight and then you'll get pregnant. *Medication can make you gain. So it isn't always losing weight.

- Aren't you over that yet? It's been six months, year... *Like the ache of a lost baby goes away.

- Oh you don't want any of those brats anyways. They cost too much. *mmmm, yeah I do. Mine won't be brats. ;)

I could go on all night, but I won't so I will stop there.

             I do not blame all these stupid things people say on them. Many people are not taught how to deal with death, death of a baby by miscarriage/still birth/early infant death or infertility. Just as we are not taught how to grieve or deal with the loss of a baby or face of infertility. Our society is a quiet society, I was not taught how to act or react to these situations. I want to know what to say and do when the questions come up, some of them are just innocent questions and curious people. I am still learning how to deal with people and the things they say and do; hopefully becoming more capable of how to deal with them with love, mercy and grace. So when you ask someone a question, they hesitate, seem uncomfortable, it may not be that we don't want to talk about it. It may be that we don't know what to say.

              I want to be seen as a mother; I have lost 7 babies that I love dearly. I just don't want the third degree. Some days I want to talk about it other days I don't. Please don't think I am awkward if I do, or I'm being rude if I don't. Some days are just harder than others, please remember that.

             Here are some helpful things to say or do if your loved ones have lost a baby or are facing infertility..

  •  send cards sympathy - thinking of you cards. We hate it when they stop. You don't have to go into detail why you are sending it. Just to say love you, thinking of you... I love it when people mention my little ones because they recognize that their mine too. It doesn't matter if it's been six months, years...
  • on Mother's Day or baby's birthday sending card, giving hugs or even donating in the name of their little one(s).
    *I have kept every card, gift, and sweet reminder that people have given us for our sweet babes. I pull them out periodically and reminisce over my sweet babes and our loving family and loved ones.
    *When church congregation asks mothers to stand in honor, I loved it when friends would come stand with me.
  •  When there is a loss, the only thing that you can say is I am sorry. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Please don't say I know how you feel unless you do. It's hollow if you haven't. 
  • When you find you're pregnant please tell us. I rather you tell me than I find out from someone else or realize that you have been avoiding me out of fear of telling me and you are 7 months pregnant. If we are the last ones to know it makes us feel that we are not friends.
  • Let them know it's okay for them to be upset or cry. Many times we don't want to upset others so we keep it inside.
  • When there is a loss, offer help, make suggestions, or just surprise with little things.
     *One of the sweetest things my friend did after a loss of one of our babies, she just came over, didn't expect me to get out of my pjs, or for my house to be clean, made the tea, and we just sat in silence and drank tea. She didn't expect me to say anything, it was nice that I just had someone there.
  • Fix meals, frozen, homemade, pre-made, take out, anything... Anything is appreciated. It's nice to just be able to pull something out and not have to think about what you are going to do for dinner.
  • When someone says something insensitive, speak up for them. No one has to act ugly. Sometimes people don't realize what they said or are saying. It's nice to not feel you have to defend yourself, your baby, your husband or your marriage.
  • Ask her out for lunch or coffee/tea or ask to bring lunch over.
  • Ask how things are going... if she isn't interested in talking about it don't be offended.
  • Ask if she wants someone to go to doctor visits with her. Many times there are so many appointment for loss or infertility that spouse cannot go with them to everyone. It's a hard thing to do alone.
  • still invite them to showers, birthday parties, kids activities, holidays...
     *Please don't be offended if they decline or leave early.
  • Be open to dialog about things beliefs and issues.
      *I remember when my nephew Chase said so sweetly, "Aunt Kymmy, at least you didn't have to hold the baby and then lose it". I was so touched that he thought of my heart, so I replied, "Oh buddy, thank you for thinking of my heart, though I would of loved to hold my babies. It would be nice to say hello before having to say goodbye". He replied, "Oh, I get it. I never thought of it like that" as he gave me big hugs.
  • Let them know that you love them. That they are a complete and awesome person whether they have a baby or not. Many times we feel incomplete, lost, deficient, insufficient, forgotten...
  • The best thing I feel that is helpful is to say you will pray for us, but don't say it unless you are. I loved it when they would ask to pray for me on the spot whether it be at church or at Walmart parking lot. Ask if they decline, don't be offended. 
If they decline ask when you ask them if you could help in a certain way, ask when would a good time be (some times it is just a difficult time) or ask what else can you could do to be helpful. Make suggestions, don't ever be offended. It was very sweet of you to ask. Sometimes in loss and grief over a loss of a baby or a failure of a infertility treatment we don't know what to say or do. It is a grief process and not always easy to know what to talk about or how to say it or say it with out tears.

I did love how the blogger reached out to people who face infertility, how she encouraged encouragement of couples who face the loss of fertility and wants to show them love and compassion. I thank the blogger for posting on this sensitive issue and glad she showed love and compassion.

 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; 
mourn with those who mourn." 
Romans 12:15