Desires & Dreams

Dear LORD, I do not understand everything. I don't know why you took our six babies? I don't know why my body can't carry a baby? I don't know why I hurt so much for those I have never held? Why do my arms ache & are so heavy though they remain empty? Lord, since I was a little girl the only thing I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. Thank you for my husband; thank you for giving me my best friend. I hand over my dream to be a mother. Though I may never be a mother here on earth. I may never hold my own baby here, yet I know Your plan is greater than mine. I trust that You are taking care of my little ones till I come home. Because of giving of Your son, Jesus, I can live with You forever. Help me live my life for You no matter what challenges come my way. I praise and follow you through the good and the bad. I give You my dreams and desires to You. LOVE YOU!!! Your born-again daughter, Kymmy :) 

The Smell of the Rain

As I walk up the dusty trail before me
and I see my footprints follow me

as my dirty, murky past leaves a
long trail of deep imprints.

As I close my eyes I wish that I would
have never made those steps,

feeling the despair
and guilt that is stuck on me,

sorrowful I plead to God to forgive me.

As I ask these words

I can feel the tall green pines
and spruces begin to dance
in the breeze with joy.

The flowers are dancing along
with the trees to the
spring birds a singing,

the tall meadow grass
raising and waving like it’s their
arms in praise of God.

I feel the rain begin to pour over me,

cleanse me from the inside out,

dripping in the rain I care not

as I look behind me my path is swiped clean.

No more deep imprints but the
path made smooth and clean.

I twirl in awe and enjoyment of their song.

I love the smell and the feeling of the rain,

God’s tears of joy coming down over me.

Conversations with God!!!

                                Sitting down tonight reading the book of Daniel and it was like God was speaking directly toward me. It floored me as I wrote in my conversations to God that so much was addressed in my daily reading today!! I have been struggling with second guessing my self and what I God has planned for me...

Daniel 9:4 "And I prayed to the LORD my God, and made my confession, and said, O Lord, the great and dreadful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to them that love Him, and to them that keep His commandments".  

                                   Lord, you forgive me and keep your covenant and mercy toward me even though I do not deserve it. I have had such confusion with everything, second guessing everything... 

Daniel 9:8-9 "O LORD, to us belongs confusion of face, to our kings, our princes, and to our fathers, because we have sinned against YOU. 9To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him;" 

                                  Second guessing what God can do, seems to be a daily trial for me lately. When I am frustrated at someone, ooooh they will NEVER change. This is Second guessing what God can do in their heart. Second guessing God when things seem to crumble. Oh They is no way this can be put back together, Second guessing the Master of All! Oh my body will never be right; I screwed it up too much, Second guessing the One who formed me in my mother's womb. LORD, Please forgive me of all! 

Daniel 9:16 "O LORD, according to all your righteousness, I beseech you, let your anger and your fury be turned away from..." me, us, our country, your world...

Daniel 9:20-22 "And whiles I was speaking, and praying, and confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my supplication before the LORD my God for the holy mountain of my God;

   21Yea, whiles I was speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the beginning, being caused to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation.

   22And he informed me, and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding." 

                                 Now I did not see an angel in my room but, I felt God saying He too like Daniel will give me skill and understanding. Not just skills, but also understanding for His word but with my school work, my marriage, my friendships, my family, my finances, my health issues... Not that I will be anything close to Einstein tomorrow when I wake. Not that God isn't able to do just that miracle. ;) But it is the Lord who I can trust to take away my confusion, my frustration, my pain, my hurts, my ills, and in which along the way He will give guidance, hope, love, peace and joy through my journey with Him. Why does He do this for us, Only because we are His. 

Daniel 9:23 "At the beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I am come to shew thee; for thou art greatly beloved: therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision." 

I am so excited for what God has done, what God is doing and what God is going to do! :)

                             HE IS WORTHY OF ALL OF OUR PRAISE!!!!

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God.

HE IS WORTHY OF ALL OUR PRAISE!!! 

                    You know when trials come and they seem to pile on, the world sees them as a nuisance, a pain, a hinder, hell. What do we as believers think? 

                    Thinking about this tonight, truly if God allows it in my life, then I have the greatest gift to learn from it. LORD, Teach me what You need me to learn. I am all ears! Thank you Lord for these trials! 

  When it rains, even pours that's when the flowers are watered so they can bloom. Thank You for the pouring rain!!